The Mid-Mid-Life Crisis

Ok, so I realise there has been a lack in the old blogging of late from He-Who-Observes, but to be perfectly frank with you, this year has been a toughie! Relocating to the other side of the world, new jobs, old friends, and the invariable loom of the skid up to twenty-five.

‘Urgh – you what?!’ I hear you cry – but just hang on a minute (step away from the kettle, its not a hot flush) this is reality and he-who-observes has noticed a shift in a few astral planes…well, maybe not that far, but still…read on.

Through the first 23 years of life, the Gen Y’s are pushed to believe in education, education, education – but actually, there is no real warning of the real world and boy is it harsh out there. Years of rigorous slog… well, four at university in my case - school mainly consisted of cigs, booze and the belief that a text book cover makes the best ‘roach’ - and whoosh, you’re out there into a sea of bad suits and comb overs (pass me that smoothing serum). All those exams suddenly start to slot into place (bar Geography – don’t teach us about continents and countries will you? Teach us about the useful composition of soil, oh how I use that every-single-day. Do I know all the countries in the Far East? Honestly? No. This is an entirely different rant).

The actual realization that in a one month, He-Who-Observes will reach an age that is half that of 50 is somewhat daunting. Is this the right career path? Where is my love life going? Am I happy living in this country? What the hell is council tax exactly, other than a massive pain in the backside? Is my face starting to sag? Hopefully my hair wont fall out. Why is this bottom bit of my back swelling week on week? The constant envy of teenager’s skin, so youthful! How are they engaged? A baby – what?! Mortgage deposit? How do these jeans not fit?! Cue intoxication. Cue horrific hangover very much unlike the ones from the early days.

The whirlwind begins and the thoughts form a worrying spiraling pattern.

This is the mid-midlife crisis. He-Who-Observes is sensing a feeling of panic among the masses but fear not, I will try to guide us through this.

He-Who-Observes has seen a few Mid-Life crashes: the rage, the lashing out, the random ‘two-piece-polymix’ purchases, but has seen them to an end. Steer clear of the ‘self help’ section – it’s all too much, but simply learn how to reflect.

What have you achieved?

What do you want to achieve?

Lets enjoy YOUTH.

Hopefully readers – you can observe He-Who-Observes transformation into the late twenties and hope that it is done with style. Failing that, please send all clinics, weight loss regimes and dating website details in.

Times they are a changing, there’s nothing I can do about it but Observe-Who-He is going to become.